Some days I don’t get to shower. Some days I feel like a milk machine. Some days I cry because our breastfeeding relationship is still something to be worked on. Some days I forget deodorant or throw my hair up in a bun without brushing it. And leave it that way the whole day. But you know what? You know what makes driving down the road while shaking a rattle so your baby will stop crying for 20 minutes all worth it? Smiles. Giggles. Beautiful (blue, by the way! like Daddy!) eyes gazing with wonderment into mine. The response I get when I massage him with lotion. The conversations that we have. He has so much to tell me. I just can’t wait to hear more.
Cohen laughed at his Sister today in the car on our way to drop her off at school. She was just talking to him and loving him as usual and apparently today, it was funny. It was the longest giggle yet. Music to Mama’s ears!
Aside from lovin’ both of my honey bunches and spending time with my Husband, I’ve been working on figuring out some needed changes in my life. I know I’ve talked about goals before, but I have no idea what they were! …so typical of me 🙂 But for real. Things need to change. I feel this person inside of me that needs to emerge. I’ve changed so much over the last year… it’s pretty incredible looking back. I’m almost a different person, it seems. So a friend of mine said on Facebook that her church was talking about goals and that everyone there should set 100 goals to accomplish in the next year. Now, these don’t have to be extreme goals, just goals and things to strive for. There are many small steps leading up to big goals and those small steps can be goals too. So, I’m going to write my list. Probably tomorrow. I told myself I would be asleep an hour ago.
What else have I been up to? Stressing about money and our house. Trying to remember that no matter how much money we have or where we live, our family will always be together. We will work something out. Just not sure how things are going to go. We are waiting to hear back from the mortgage company again… The approved a forbearance for the last 4 months and we were paying half of our mortgage. Now, they want us to pay everything that we owe from not making full payments for the last 4 months in full. Um… huh? You cut our payment in half because we can’t afford it, and now you think we can magically pull money out of our asses to pay you $3,000 all at once? You’re idiots.
On a lighter note, we got rid of cable and I don’t miss it. At all. Also, I got a sewing machine for $20 off Craigslist, and it’s been sitting in my living room for a week. I have big plans- sewing my own cloth diapers, cloth wipes, blankets, curtains… Did I mention I have never used a sewing machine?
I suppose that’s all for now. Sleep calls my name ever so enticingly…
Naturally Mama. 